just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
