I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
