WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
