I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
