How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
