you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
