Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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