Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize