My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
