i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
