It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
