no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
