just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Randomize
