I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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