The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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