What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
ugly people sure do ruin things
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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