I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
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