She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
