i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize