If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
