k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
