I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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