Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
