i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
