Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize