Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
