Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize