Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
