I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
