ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
