you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
