It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
