Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
