Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
