So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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