Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
