From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
