His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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