she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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