woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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