Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
