I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
