I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
