I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
