I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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