You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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