I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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