Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
