I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
