You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
