fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
