Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize