please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
false alarm. still invincible.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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