you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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