Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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