I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
