her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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