my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
