Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Success! We fucked roommates!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize