I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I think my vagina is haunted
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
