he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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