There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
