It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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