I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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