i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
