i already hear my dad disowning me
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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