just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
