Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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