remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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