What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize