So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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