what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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