matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
She announced her abortion via fbk
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We left an ass print on the piano.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm just crazy horny about you
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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