just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
