I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
