Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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