Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
